Teaching

QUALITIES TO DEVELOP AS A WOMAN OF GOD - PART 6
by Linda Christine Mumba

Read 2 Peter 1 - We are instructed to add to our faith brotherly kindness and love.
Brotherly Kindness - from Greek word ‘ Philadelphia’ = brotherly love (kindness), love of brethren.
Read Proverbs 31:10-31

Throughout the whole of this passage we see she’s a woman who walks in kindness and love.

In verse 12 it states ‘She will comfort, encourage and do him only good as long as there is life within her’.

In verse 14 it states ‘ she is like the merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs, she brings her household’s food from a far [country]. - this verse shows that she makes an effort and goes the extra mile to serve her husband and family.

In verse 20 we see that ‘ she opens her hand to the poor; yes she reaches out her filled hands to the needy [ whether in body, mind or spirit]. - She not only loves her family but reaches out to others.

In verse 26 we see that ‘ she opens her mouth with skilful and godly wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness - giving counsel and instruction’.
The proverbs 31 woman can be an inspiration to all of us to keep reaching to excel in different areas of our lives.

We can learn from her how God wants us to love our family. She demonstrates her love to her family by the way she takes care of them, herself and her home.

She doesn’t have a ‘couldn’t care less attitude’ but makes an effort of love by the way she plans for her family’s well being and comfort, by the way she takes care of herself and by the way she furnishes her home.

Sometimes we might think the way we look is not important, after all God looks at the heart. This is true but people look at the external especially your husband if you are married and if it ‘s important to him it should be important to us out of our love for him.

If we try and show our husbands love the way we think we would like to receive it, it will not be received the right way. we should ask them what are the most important ways to them that we can show them love.

1. In a survey these were the most important things to a man are:

If you are single and would like to get married start building up knowledge before you get married that will be a blessing to your future mate.
All of us as the family of God can practise hospitality.
Titus 2:3

Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment, as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble, so that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober-minded - temperate, disciplined - and to love their husbands and their children;

To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured [kindhearted], adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach - blasphemed or discredited. [Amplified Bible].

The word use here for loving their husbands means an ‘affectionate love’ and for their children is ‘fondness’. loving your husband should be number one priority, then loving your children.We need to practice walking in love even when we get nothing in return- this demonstrates Gods unconditional love.
Who are the older women? - those who are spiritually mature, sound in their doctrine and displaying the qualities requested in the above verse.
1 Peter 3:1-2

In like manner you married women, be submissive to your own husbands - subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them. So that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives,When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband. That is, you are to feel for him all that reverence includes] - to respect, to defer to, revere him; [ revere means] to honor,esteem [appreciate, prize], and [in the human sense] adore him; [and adore m{eans] to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love and enjoy [your husband].

We need to be careful not to follow the wisdom of the world- through magazines and tv but follow the wisdom of God.

Its a good habit to get into frequently reading good Christian books on Marriage and family as well as the Bible.These will inspire and spir us on.
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Galatians 6:9
‘

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith’.

This verse shows us that we shouldn’t be good to everyone else outside the church and neglect our brethren.

Jesus says in Matthew 10:42 ‘ And whoever gives to one of these little ones [in rank or influence] even a cup of water because he is My disciple, surely I declare to you, he shall not lose his reward’.

If we have stored up bitterness and unforgiveness in our hearts towards members of our household or other people then we need to confess our sin to God, repent and ask God to fill us with a love for that person, then practise doing the right thing until the feelings follow.

1 Peter 3:8-12
Peter exhorts the believers, ‘Finally , all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.
For
‘He who would love life and see good days,
Let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile;
Let him turn away from evil and do good;
Let him seek peace and pursue it.
For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.’ [NKJV]
Hebrews 13:1-3 states ‘ Let love for your fellow believers continue and be fixed practice with you - never let it fail.

Do not forget or neglect or refuse to extend hospitality to strangers [in the brotherhood] - being friendly, cordial and gracious, sharing the comforts of your home and doing your part generously -for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Remember those who are in prison, as if you were their fellow prisoner; and those who are ill-treated, since you are also liable to bodily sufferings’.
There is a balance in this - We need to learn to be discerning, good judges of character and be wise.

This verse shows us we should be pre-disposed to show our fellow Christians kindness, friendliness and hopitality no matter who they are. Sometimes we can get in a comfort zone in the church and just talk to those we know, or of the same age or culture but God wants us to reach out, to make all feel a part of the family.

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1 Thessalonians 4:9-10
‘But concerning brotherly love [for all other Christians], you have no need to have anyone write to you, for you yourselves have been [personally] taught of God to love one another.

And indeed you already are [extending and displaying your love] to all the brethren throughout Macedonia. But we beseech and earnestly exhort you brethren, that you excel [in this matter] more and more’.
When in 2 peter 1 we are told to equip ourselves with these qualities its not talking about the minimum, but lavishly and generously equipping ourselves and also from the verse above we can see God wants us to excel.
1 John2:9-11

He who says he is in the light and hates his brother, is in darkness until now.

He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.

But he who hates his brother is in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes’.

Love
I n the New testament there are four different words to mean various types of love.
a) Eros - p
hysical love/attraction
b) Storge - family love/ fondness betweenparents and children and people and their relatives.
c) Philia/Philadelphia - affectionate love/fondness/friendship
d) Agape - a love of choice, the love that god commands us to have for believers and non-believers.
What is the ‘Agape’, kind of love?

1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become as a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
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does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
love never fails......
v13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

As we can see from the above verse love has alot to do with the attitudes of our hearts and minds and subsequently, what comes out of our mouths.
We need to examine our hearts and our patterns of thinking and see if they line up with the word of God.

Probably the most challenging people to walk in love with is with those who are closest to us.

Love is patient - we need to exercise ourselves in being slow to anger, even though we could insult back when people insult us, either in our family or outside.

Patience as we learnt in the previous study is being constant and hopeful in our attitude no matter what the circumstances.

Love is kind - its easy to be critical of others but God wants us to guard our mouths and to do unto others as we would want them to do to us.

Love knows no envy - Learn to rejoice when others increase, make a decision that even if it seems unfair not to let your heart become bitter and jealous. e.g when others get married when you want to, or if someone gets a promotion when you feel it should have been you.

Love does not parade itself - It does not do things so that it is noticed but out of pure motives - to serve God.
Love is not puffed up - God does not want us to be so important in our own eyes that we are not interested in anyone unless they can do something for us.
Love does not behave rudely - Be courteous, tactful, and respectful.
e.g Even if you don’t like the service in a restuarant there is no need to be sarcastic and rude. You can still complain but in a firm and polite way.
Love does not seek its own - we can either be people who always want their own way & priviledges or a person who is always thinking of their responsibilities and what they could do for others.
Love is not provoked - Someone has great strength who can control her temper under pressure.
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love thinks no evil - we need to
continuously renew our minds by the Word of God and think on good things. Philippians 4:8
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Love does not rejoice in iniquity - we shouldn’t find pleasure in hearing something derogatory about someone else.

Love rejoices in the truth - we should be glad when truth prevails even when someone is confronting us with the truth -in Gods love.

Love can endure anything - Love covers a multitude of sins. Every time we are offended we don’t always need to challenge that person.

Rather than talking to others abouxt the fault of someone else, we need to go to God first and then if we feel its necessary, go to the person and sort things out with them.

Have a heart that is ready to forgive.

Love believes all things - firstly take God at His Word, secondly believe the best about people.

Love hopes allthings - Hope in people to become the best that they can even if there is not much sign of it. Jesus believes in us and what we will become.

Love endures allthings - This is the kind of love that doesn’t just endure things hardly bearing up under them, but endures all things with a thankful, joyful heart.

Love never fails

Bibliography & Recommended reading

The daily study Bible - William Barclay
His needs Her needs - Willard f Harley
Beautiful in Gods Eyes - Elizabeth George
Complete Marriage and family home reference guide - Dr James Dobson